I got really nice advice today...opening up my mind about what the relationship really is:
I think that you need to evaluate that very carefully. If you argue, but the underlying premise is always that you care about each other and respect each other, that's fine. But if the arguments ever turn vicious or ugly, and end up with one of you feeling like a loser... that's a pretty bad sign.
I like to think of "good" arguments as "you and me against a problem" and bad arguments as "you and me against each other"
NB: It's Ben Okopnik of Linux Gazette who said that...thanks Ben...really..from the bottom of my heart...